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The Reason Why I Fired My Secretary

Two weeks ago was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t
feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went to breakfast knowing my wife would
be pleasant and say „Happy Birthday," and probably have a present for me.

She didn’t even say „Good Morning," alone any „Happy
Birthday." I thought, „Well, that’s wives for you. Maybe the children will

The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.

When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and
despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet, said, „Good
morning boss, Happy Birthday." And I felt a little better; someone had

I worked until noon. Then Janet knocked on my door and said,
„You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go
to lunch, just you and me." I said, „By George, that’s the best thing I’ve
heard all day. Let’s go."

We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; we went
out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed
lunch tremendously.

On the way back to the office, she said, „You know, it’s
such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?" I said, „No,
I guess not." She said, „Let’s go to my apartment." After arriving at her
apartment she said, „Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom
and slip into something more comfortable."

„Sure," I excitedly replied. She went into the bedroom and, in about six
minutes, she came out carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife,
children and dozens of our friends. All were singing „Happy Birthday" and there
on the couch I sat… naked.