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The Women’s Guide to Men’s English

"I’m hungry" = I’m hungry

"I’m sleepy" = I’m sleepy

"I’m tired" = I’m tired

"Do you want to go to a movie?" =
I’d eventually like to have sex with you

"Can I take you out to dinner?" =
I’d eventually like to have sex with you

"Can I call you sometime?" = I’d
eventually like to have sex with you

"May I have this dance?" = I’d
eventually like to have sex with you

"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!

"You look tense, let me give you a
massage." = I want to fondle you

"What’s wrong?" = I don’t see why
you are making such a big deal out of this

"What’s wrong?" = What meaningless
self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?

"What’s wrong?" = I guess sex
tonight is out of the question

"I’m bored" = Do you want to have
sex?

"I love you" = Let’s have sex now

"I love you, too" = Okay, I said
it…we’d better have sex now!

"Yes, I like the way you cut your
hair" = I liked it better before

"Yes, I like the way you cut your
hair" = $50 and it doesn’t look any different!

"Let’s talk" = I am trying to
impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you’d
like to have sex with me

"Will you marry me?" = I want to
make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

"I like that one better" (while
shopping) = Pick any freakin‘ dress and let’s go home!!!