You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the
Your job is interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?? I think
Two hands and just one mouth … now THAT’S a drinking
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the
Every woman you see has an exact twin.
You fall off the floor.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger — forget
The glass keeps missing your mouth.
Bill Clinton starts to make sense.
Mosquitoes catch a buzz* after biting you.
The whole bar says ‚Hi‘ when you come in.
"Hi ocifer. I’m not under the affluence of
You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
"BeerTender! Get me another Bar!"