Joke of the Week

• Painless childbirth

  A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital. The doctor looked her over and told them it would be a rather difficult delivery. He offered to let the couple try an experimental procedure. The woman would be connected to a machine that would transfer part of the pain to the father of the baby, thus reducing her […]

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• Or What?

  A man comes to his doctor and tells him that his wife hasn’t had sex with him for 6 months. The doctor tells the man to bring his wife in so he can talk to her. So the wife comes into the doctors office and the doc asks her what’s wrong, and why doesn’t she want to have sex […]

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• The world needs smart men

  One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the […]

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• This is Heaven, it is free!

  An 85-year-old couple, after being married for almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and exercising. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master […]

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• Golfing with an older man

  A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home. Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked […]

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• Oh, we returned the piano

  My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday. A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing with it. "Oh, we returned the piano." said My Dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead." "How come?" I asked. "Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she […]

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• What time does the library open?

  "What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.  "Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what’s the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?" "Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice. "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why […]

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• Three prisoners

  Three prisoners, an American, a Frenchman, and a Pole, are scheduled to be executed by firing squad. They bring out the American and stand him in front of the pole. He points and shouts, "Tornado!" they all look and the American runs away. Next, they place the Frenchman in front of the firing squad. He yells "Earthquake!" […]

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• James or Tom?

  A married man, named James, was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shaves his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really loves to see your handsome face." James replied," My wife loves this beard, I couldn’t possibly do it, she would kill me!" "Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. […]

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• The Women’s Guide to Men’s English

  "I’m hungry" = I’m hungry "I’m sleepy" = I’m sleepy "I’m tired" = I’m tired "Do you want to go to a movie?" = I’d eventually like to have sex with you "Can I take you out to dinner?" = I’d eventually like to have sex with you "Can I call you sometime?" = I’d eventually like to […]

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