Joke of the Week
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I know the whole truth
At school, a boy is told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth" even when you don’t know anything. The boy decides to go home and try it out. As he is greeted by his […]
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I can`t do that, officer
A policeman pulls over a driver for swerving in and out of lanes on the highway. He tells the guy to blow a breath into a breathalyzer. "I can`t do that, officer." "Why not?" "Because I`m an asthmatic. I could get an asthma attack if I blow into that tube." "Okay, we`ll just get a urine sample down at the station." "Can`t do […]
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An old man is sitting on a park bench crying
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying. A young man is walking by and asks him why he`s crying. The old man says, "I`m retired and I have lots of money, a huge luxury apartment, a beautiful 25 year old wife who loves me and has sex with me twice a day." The young man says, "Well then […]
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I would do anything for that bowl of fruit you have
A man is riding aimlessly through the desert on a donkey. He is not hungry or thirsty, because he has a bottomless bowl of fruit. He wanders for about a week and eventually gets pretty horny. He gets to the point where he can`t stand it anymore. So he decides to try and have sex with the donkey. […]
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Learn to speak Chinese
Are you harboring a fugitive- Hu Yu Hai Ding See me A.S.A.P. – Kum Hia Nao Small Horse – Tai Ni Po Ni Your price is too high – No Bai Dam Thing Did you go to the beach – Wai Yu So Tan I bumped into a coffee table – Ai Bang Mai Ni I think you need a facelift […]
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Three men captured by cannibals
Three men who were lost in the forest were captured by cannibals. The cannibal king told the prisoners that they could live if they pass a trial. The first step of the trial was to go to the forest and get ten pieces of the same kind of fruit. So all three men went separate ways […]
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Strange confession
A drunken man staggers in to a catholic church and sits down in a confession box and says nothing. The bewildered priest coughs to attract his attention, but still the man says nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to get the man to speak. Finally, the drunk replies: "No […]
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How would you like it if you didn’t see me for two or three days?
A man left work one Friday afternoon. But, it being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire week’s wages. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade […]
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What gender is a computer?
An English teacher was explaining to his students the concept of gender association in the English language. He stated how hurricanes at one time were given feminine names and how ships and planes were usually referred to as "she". One of the students raised their hand and asked – "What gender is a computer"? The […]
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Stressed out…try some of these relaxing tidbits :)
1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out. (This one is great to teach nieces and nephews!) 2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill. (Even better to call after doing it and say you didn’t authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!) 3. […]
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