Joke of the Week

• Panda

  A panda walked into a bar. He went up to the bar and said "I’d like a steak and kidney pie and a Coke please" so the barman took his order and the panda went to sit down. Soon a waiter brought over his meal. The panda ate it up, thanked and tipped the waiter and paid the bill. All […]

  Přečíst celé...

• Signs that you „just might“ have a drinking problem

  You lose arguments with inanimate objects. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. Your job is interfering with your drinking. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. […]

  Přečíst celé...

• Blonde can name ALL the state capitals!

  A blonde was complaining to her friend about constantly being called a dumb blonde. Her friend tells her "go do something to prove them wrong! Why don’t you learn all the state capitals or something?" The blonde thinks this is a great idea, and locks herself up for two weeks studying. The next party she goes to, some […]

  Přečíst celé...

• Oh officer, I almost had an accident!

  A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver. "Ma’am, is there a reason that you’re weaving all over the road?" The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you’re here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and […]

  Přečíst celé...

• Genuine aligator shoes

  A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I’ll just […]

  Přečíst celé...

• Why do you call her a ballerina?

  This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?" The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the […]

  Přečíst celé...

• If you didn’t know me, what age would you say I am?

  Some people grow old gracefully, while others fight and scratch the whole way. Andy’s wife, refusing to give in to the looks of growing old, goes out and buys a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the "miracle" products, she asks her husband – […]

  Přečíst celé...

• The arm has to be punished…

  A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, […]

  Přečíst celé...

• This wasn’t the speed limit

  Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer sees a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!" So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old […]

  Přečíst celé...

• Too speedy blonde

  A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday one of you takes away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!!"

  Přečíst celé...